how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
