I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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