Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
