Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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