He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
