i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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