He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
