You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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