I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
