You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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