just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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