Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
