Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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