i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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