apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
