So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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