I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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