Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
