My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
