Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
