did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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