Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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