I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
