found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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