its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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