I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
