The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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