Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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