He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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