Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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