he shaved USA in his pubs
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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