hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
