Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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