It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
