Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
