Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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