i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
