we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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