Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
