Me too!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
