I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
