so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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