nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
