Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
