i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
