Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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