his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
