he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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