is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
