Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
